Twenty-seventh Sunday in Ordinary Time

http://www.usccb.org/bible/readings/100712.cfm

But from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female.
For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother
and be joined to his wife,
and the two shall become one flesh.
So they are no longer two but one flesh.
Therefore what God has joined together,

Ferns

no human being must separate."

There are not many teachings on marriage in the New Testament but those we have are consistent with one another. They agree that divorce is not an option for married people, Christian or otherwise. But the question seems to come up continually. It’s as if married couples can never get very far down the road of wedded bliss before doubts appear. Is it really till death do us part? Is it necessarily exclusive to only one sexual partner? What if we fall out of love? These qualms pursue married couples in every nation and culture, throughout history. Despite all their good intentions husbands and wives wonder, “Is this really necessary?”

Jesus gives no quarter: 

“So they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, no human being must separate."

But throughout history human cultures have settled for something less than strict monogamy. The wealthy, especially, have experimented with polygamy, serial divorce, courtesans, and “gay marriage.” And, they often insist, they find these arrangements satisfactory. Their needs are met. Who can argue with one’s needs being met? Isn’t that what life is all about?

Christians find in our gospel a narrower gate and a rougher road that lead to salvation. Our way is neither open nor obvious to everyone. Many cannot imagine a life of sexual integrity with only one life partner. Some people have never seen or known a happily married couple. Others, tragically, have suffered such sexual abuse as children they cannot enter marriage at all. Finally, as Jesus explains, not everyone is called to marriage, despite their cultural expectations and their natural sexual desires. [Matt 19:11]

Saint Paul explains why Christian marriage is so demanding:

For no one ever hates his own body, but he nourishes and tenderly cares for it, just as Christ does for the church, because we are members of his body. ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ This is a great mystery, and I am applying it to Christ and the church.

Christian marriage is a great mystery about “Christ and his church.” It is God’s way of showing the world how intensely, passionately and deeply he loves us. The Church might be called God’s project, experiment or garden but none of those words come near the reality. God’s spouse is closer. Will a loving person protect and honor the spouse? So will God. Will a person risk life to save the life of the spouse? So will God. Will someone willingly volunteer the rest of life, setting aside all personal interests, preferences and desires in love for the spouse? God will do all this and more for his Church. We have seen that clearly in the death and resurrection of Jesus.

When people see a Christian couple they should see a clear, unequivocal sign of God’s intense, all-consuming, all-sacrificing love of his Church.

I grew up in a culture that assumed everyone should be married and everyone should stay married to one partner for life. But even in that halcyon age true fidelity was more fiction than fact. Alcoholism, abandonment, and abuse (physical, sexual and emotional) made marriage a living hell for many people. Unions like that misrepresent the Sacrament. We might admire the couples for keeping up the appearances of Christianity, but not for what actually went on.

Sumac

But many Christian and Catholic couples are faithful to their calling; I meet them often in the hospital ministry. They are poor and middle class. (I don't meet wealthy people in the VA.) They are educated and illiterate. They come from differing Christian denominations. But they share a devotion to their spouses and to the Lord. My heart rejoices when I see them talking to one another, or holding hands, or simply wearing their wedding bands.

Fidelity to God’s law has never been easy, neither in the good old days nor today. No one said it should be. But, as the saints have always insisted, “With God the impossible is easy; without God, even the easy is impossible.”