Friday of the Thirty-first Week in Ordinary Time

Join with others in being imitators of me, brothers and sisters,
and observe those who thus conduct themselves
according to the model you have in us.

Saint Paul was not given to self-doubt. He was very intelligent, energetic, courageous, cheerful, optimistic and friendly. Add to those natural charms the Holy Spirit and you have a fellow who invites others to “Do as I do.” 

This invitation is not a simple “Walk this way!” ala the Marx Brothers. (A joke of endless variations and invariably funny.)

The story is told that Saint Francis discovered John the Simple, one of his disciples, imitating him. The fellow may have had some mental deficiencies but, in any case, when Francis prayed, John prayed. When he stood up, John stood up; when he sat down, John sat down; when he coughed, John coughed. Eventually even a saint’s nerves can be frayed and Francis gently told the loveable man to Knock It Off.

I’m sure that slavish, literal imitation is not what Saint Paul had in mind when he said, “Be imitators of me, and observe those who thus conduct themselves according to the model you have in us”

Rather, in association with good people we learn to be good people. If “one bad apple can spoil the bunch” one disciplined, alert community can help an individual to set aside strange or childish ways.

In the church we learn that certain jokes are not funny because no one is laughing. Some behaviors are not charming because no one is charmed. Other behaviors, attitudes, thoughts and words are very desirable because that's how everyone acts.

Part of this is the responsibility of the community to provide role models and mentors for its youth. They want to know how to be adult and conscientious adults will show them.

Another part of this is “initiation” into the Church. New members should want to learn our values. Where they discover their old values don’t fit, they will want to change them. RCIA programs will actively discuss both our moral teachings and our etiquette; in the same manner that Jesus, observing how dinner guests grabbed the higher positions, advised them to seek the lower ones.

As leaders of a hospitable community, we should try to defuse potential “land mines.” By land mines I mean those unspoken, unwritten rules that we assume everybody knows. There are certain things you just don’t do -- but some people do them!

The land mine blows up when a new member of the community commits such a faux pas. Everyone is offended and no one tells her. They can’t imagine that she doesn’t know the rule; they suppose she is just rude, stupid or immature.

Defusing the land mine means letting the new member know as soon as possible, “That is not the way we talk.” (or speak or think.) And then suggesting, “Imitate me and observe those who thus conduct themselves according to the model you have in us. 

We’re all in this together. We care for one another, show each other the way, and hurry toward that New Jerusalem where courtesy, kindness and courage will govern our lives.