Do not let your hearts be troubled.
You have faith in God; have faith also in me.
I find this passage from John 14 especially reassuring. Jesus invites his disciples to believe in him as they have believed in God, with the assurance that the God whom they have always trusted and loved has personally sent Jesus to them.
He does not question their faith, though it is inevitably partial and inadequate. Which of us would dare to say his or her faith is total and comprehensive? There are always enormous gaps between my confidence in God and the assurances God gives me. I hesitate at every step forward even as he rushes toward me.
Jesus understands that. He has known and seen it in me as a brother and a friend, as one who walks with me. He understands my fears and reluctance, and where they come from in a past which is neither forgotten nor remembered.
Was I betrayed by someone and is that why I hesitate? Probably, though I cannot immediately discern how that ancient disappointment affects my attitudes and decisions today. When did I decide, and why, that I would not trust again, that I would hold back in reserve, that I would prefer to wait and see as opportunity approached and paused and passed me by?
Jesus was there with me. He remembers the hurt in my soul for he felt it more deeply than I did.
But he also knows that I have waited on the Lord, that I have kept faith in my fashion. And so he assures me, Do not let your hearts be troubled. You have faith in God; have faith also in me.
Step by step he walks with me, neither ahead nor behind.
Does He know where we're going? Does he know how this must all turn out in the end? If he does he doesn't reveal it to me. But I wonder if his knowledge of the future is just as unclear as mine. Perhaps he prefers to walk with me in this present uncertainty, as he assures me of the only certainty that is necessary, his constant presence.