Feast of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph

Lectionary: 17

For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named.... (Eph 3:14)

 T he pater familias of Roman civilization governed the life of his wife, children, grandchildren, adopted members of the family, employees of the family’s businesses, household servants, and slaves of the family's estates. If he had no capable sons, he might adopt possible heirs of his family and wealth; and he might act as patron to talented artists who promoted his prestigious family. 

Although Saint Paul says nothing about his original family and had no personal wealth, he spoke of Timothy, Titus, and others as his adopted sons, and of himself as their patron and father. He was the pater familias of the churches he established in Corinth, Galatia, and Thessalonica. 

When, in Ephesians 3, he spoke of God as the Father from whom every family in heaven and earth is named, his metaphor was the typical family governed by a pater familias, rather than our more familiar nuclear family of husband, wife, and children. 

As the Father – the pater familias – he urged members of his churches to follow his example, as he said in his first letter to the Corinthians: 

I am writing you this not to shame you, but to admonish you as my beloved children. Even if you should have countless guides to Christ, yet you do not have many fathers, for I became your father in Christ Jesus through the gospel. Therefore, I urge you, be imitators of me. (I Cor 4:14-16)

But he also knew the only true Father is God the Father who was revealed through Jesus, the Son of God. And the Church is the true family of God which provides the model and inspiration for every Christian family. When Paul spoke of his brothers and sisters he referred to members of the church rather than the family he had left behind in Tarsus. We know nothing about them.

Saint Francis used the same language when he spoke of his friars and the women who had followed Saint Clare of Assisi into women's communities. Although he had not set out to found a family or an order, God made him the pater familias of the first, second, and third orders. Every Franciscan remembers that painful, dramatic moment when he disowned his bullying father, Pietro di Bernardone, a prosperous silk merchant; and announced that, from that day forward, God would be his only father. Their separation was final; if they were ever reconciled, his biographers say nothing of it. 

As we celebrate this annual feast of the nuclear family of Joseph, Mary, and Jesus, we do well to reflect on the bonds which must hold every family together. They are more than blood relations. 

Or, to contradict a popular saying, "Water is thicker than blood." The water of our Baptism draws us closer together – is a more binding glue – that gives us deeper, more trustworthy, and more intimate bonds than the biological kinship of an immediate family. 

Jesus predicted as much when he said, 

Do you think that I have come to establish peace on the earth? No, I tell you, but rather division. From now on a household of five will be divided, three against two and two against three; a father will be divided against his son and a son against his father, a mother against her daughter and a daughter against her mother, a mother-in-law against her daughter-in-law and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.” (Luke 12:51-53)

He really stressed that message with an awful lot of words! 

As I met men and women who practiced the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous I often heard painful, sad stories of people who could not visit their own parents or children. They could not "be home for Christmas" or any other time of year. They might attend family funerals, appearing only in the Church or funeral home, but not at the gatherings before or after. They might hope for a reconciliation but so long as their families were controlled by alcoholism, drug abuse, incest, or violence, they could not go home. 

I was living in Australia when I quit drinking; and I wrote a long letter home, explaining my decision to my parents. My Dad immediately wrote back -- it took two weeks in those days -- assuring me that I had not lost any standing with him or his family. He continued to drink his beer, which he used in moderation as I never had; and we remained close until the end of his life. I was resolute in my decision, and have never regretted it; and neither my family nor my friends have ever challenged or opposed it. 

The holiday season reminds everyone of how important our families are to us. Millions of people risk blizzard conditions and crowded airports to celebrate the bonds of kinship. But many also hope and pray that their holiday excesses will not tear them apart. As we celebrate the Feast of the Holy Family, we remember the "Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named," and the Son who died on a cross for us, his sisters and brothers..

On this weekend between Christmas and the New Year, we celebrate the nuclear family of Joseph, Mary, and Jesus. But we also remember they were not the typical nuclear family, since Jesus was not Saint Joseph’s biological son. He was adopted by the Virgin’s husband, as you and I are adopted into the family of Abraham; and they had no other children.

As the Prophet Isaiah said, 

Listen to me, you who pursue integrity,

who seek the Lord.

Consider the rock you were hewn from,

the quarry from which you were cut.

Consider Abraham your father

and Sarah who gave you birth.

For he was all alone when I called him,

but I blessed and increased him.

Centuries later, Saint Paul would write about the true descendants of Abraham in Roman 9, 

“…it is not the children of the flesh who are the children of God; the children of the promise are counted as descendants.” 

On this Feast of the Holy Family, during the closing hours of 2024, we “kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named.” We pray that the Father of Jesus will be our true pater familias; and that the Water of Baptism is thick; and the Blood of our Eucharist, binding; and that our Faith holds our families more tightly, even than the blood in our veins.