Twenty-third Sunday in Ordinary Time

Lectionary: 127

Owe nothing to anyone, except to love one another; for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law.


In today's passage from the Gospel according to Saint Matthew, Jesus teaches his church how to deal with internal conflicts. Only the most naïve will suppose there should be no conflicts in church; only the most cowardly -- or brazen -- will hope they never occur.
     The psalmist declared, If a just man reproves me that is kindness. The wise welcome the "feedback" of other people. Every relationship is different from every other. With some we can make jokes, with others we must be serious. Some welcome our inmost secrets; most don't want to hear about it. There are different levels of trust with different people.
     We should understand how we're coming across. Am I too pushy with this person? Or too meek? Are these comments helpful, encouraging, enlightening? Or demeaning, insulting or irrelevant? Do I want too much or too little of this person or this group? Should I offer more or less?
     Hearing the response of others, I learn of my own foibles and foolishness. It can be uncomfortable but that's far better than not hearing of them.
     Our "debt" to one another, the price of admission to human society, is to love one another. Freedom is measured by our willingness to live with others.
     Some people suppose freedom is doing whatever I want to do but that kind of freedom exists only in isolation, if there is such a place. I'm not sure that either exists, that place so far from others that one's attitudes, feelings and actions make no difference; or that such a wretched place might be called freedom. If there is, it's mostly imaginary. In the real world, we live with others and have to "deal" with them.
     Freedom is what we give to and receive from others. Anything less than that -- for instance, a liberty we take from others or a burden imposed on them without their consent -- doesn't deserve the name.
     In today's gospel we learn of a hypothetical someone who has made difficult demands upon the community. What should they do? Jesus teaches: first, meet the offender privately and name the problem. More often than not, that will settle the issue. The person was unaware of how she or he was "coming across" and appreciates the feedback. Some people may be particularly thin-skinned and defensive but given time, patience and compassion they will come around.
     If the person will not listen to confidential advice, a small party of friends or family might create an intervention. They can be both friendly and firm, concerned and compassionate. In my time I have heard of more than a few interventions when priests and laity were confronted with their own attitudes and behavior. I suffered that privilege myself some years ago.
     It's sometimes messy and not ever simple, but the Spirit can make all things well, given sufficient time.
     The gospel describes two further steps if the offender refuses to receive sympathetic advice from trustworthy friends. The "church" may challenge him, perhaps in the form of a trial; and the offender may be banned from the assembly, excommunication. The Catholic Church has developed an elaborate system of canon law to handle such situations.
     At no point does the Lord suggest we just drop the subject if we're not getting anywhere. A problem ignored will develop into a crisis which cannot be ignored. Crises can be opportunities, but they're often catastrophes. It's better to address problems ahead of time. Sometimes they can be nipped in the bud at the very outset.
     No one should expect that freedom comes without great cost and great courage. Life with others is not supposed to be easy; but the alternative, isolation, is far worse. We're watching a nation of individualists descending into the madness of alcoholism, drug abuse and suicide.
     Christians should not let that happen to one another. We're called to communion.