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| Sts Hedwig & Margaret Mary Alocoque |
In Christ we were also chosen,
destined in accord with the purpose of the One
who accomplishes all things according to the intention of his will,
so that we might exist for the praise of his glory...
In the search for one's identity no one needs to look any further than the Bible. The Word of God has sketched in broad but helpful outline Salvation History, and seekers can readily find themselves in that history.
We carry two useful names, saints and sinners. Finding oneself in the plan of God and profoundly aware of His gaze, I recognize myself as both saint and sinner. If the former seems harsh and arbitrary, the latter also seems unrealistic.
However, the opposite names, balanced and paradoxical, complement one another; and sound quite reasonable. I knew I wasn't the greatest of sinners, nor the loveliest of saints; but, within reason, both words apply.
But we are mistaken if an identity appears without a purpose. I heard an NPR story the other day about prisoners of war who have been intentionally subject to psychological torment. Nazis guards sometimes amused themselves by forcing men to move a pile of dirt from one spot to another; and back again the next day; and back again the next day; and so forth. The prisoners often became suicidal.
More recently, captives are told they might be released on a certain day; but when that day comes nothing is said and they are not released. After several false promises, the prisoners may become despondent and give up all hope.
And without hope people become clinically depressed and even suicidal. The NPR conversation discussed the plight of these prisoners and the long-term effects on that abuse. Having suffered that torment, some released prisoners never recover a sense of hope. They have become cynical and pessimistic about every promise and any expectation. "Nothing can work for me!" they might say.
But the NPR conversation made no mention of purpose. They would have done well to study the lives of saints, and especially those saints who suffered that kind of abuse. Saint Luke, in his Acts of the Apostles cites several instances of the Apostles' being beaten, jailed for indefinite times, and released. Saint Paul spent two years in confinement because Felix, a sycophant Roman proculator, wanted to ingratiate himself with the Jews. There were no valid charges against the Apostle; he had broken neither Jewish nor Roman laws; but his confinement was politically expedient. (Sound familiar?)
However, neither Felix nor the Jews could understand Saint Paul's purpose. He had already been told in a vision that he would go to Rome; and he was sure of that. He saw a golden opportunity to bring the Gospel to the ends of the Earth, as Jesus had commissioned the Church. So if he had to cool his heels in jail for two years, it was clearly in God's plan, and neither the threats of Jews nor false promises of taunting jailors could distract him.
Saint Paul found his purpose in Christ like every Saint before and since. Our search for identity begins with Saint Paul's question; "What shall I do, Lord?"
