Tuesday of the Thirty-third Week in Ordinary Time

Lectionary: 498

"Therefore, by manfully giving up my life now,

I will prove myself worthy of my old age,

and I will leave to the young a noble example

of how to die willingly and generously

for the revered and holy laws."

I sometimes invoke the story of Eleazar when I talk to older Veterans about suicide. There's irony because Eleazar seems to invite death as he refuses to eat pork, and yet my point is the opposite.

Suicide is one of those strange epidemics, like alcoholism and drug abuse. It is not spread by viruses or microbes but by free choice. Sociologists who study the phenomenon say that the impulse can be sudden and unexpected. The individual makes a fatal decision on the spur of the moment. Had someone been aware of the impulse, they might have been able to help them through it. The fatal attraction of death loses its charm quickly in conversation with others. It's really a bad idea. It solves no problems, relieves no pain, and only causes mayhem in the lives of loved ones.

Potential suicides -- those who consider it an option and are looking directly at it -- may not realize how their choices have led them to this moment. It may be a taboo subject for them, never considered, until it suddenly seems like the only option. If they survive the impulse, reflection will recall missed opportunities, poor choices, and bad investments that generated shame, remorse, and a sense of futility. They chose to isolate when others were close by; they refused help when it was freely offered. 

In some cases, they believed what many suppose, that they have a right to destroy themselves. An uncaring, competitive society rejoices when competitors drop out, regardless of the circumstance.

Suicide is a great scandal to others first because it is such a merciless, savage, unexpected and undeserved assault. The sudden, irrational and often bloody death of a loved one is deeply disturbing. Family, friends, acquaintances and strangers suffer. The fatal consequences may create havoc for children not yet born. 

No mother, father, spouse or child deserves such a vicious attack. Inevitably they will ask, "How did I fail them? Was it something I said or did? Did I not see the obvious? Why did they do this to me?" A suicide note alleviates no one's suffering.

They often blame anyone but the suicide. It was the fault of the lax or over-strict parents, the unfeeling spouse, or the oblivious children. Suicide becomes a social stigma on defenseless parties; when, in fact, it was the deceased who made the irrevocable decision. And they are regarded as victims. 

As Eleazar faces death he thinks of the youth in his community. He will make any sacrifice to avoid scandalizing them, realizing that the impact will persist for generations. If a respected elder man or woman betrays faith in God, young people will believe that God is unfaithful. That is a price too heavy to bear.

Suicide has a similar consequence. Every time someone takes their own life the rest of us wonder, "Perhaps they did the right thing. Perhaps life is meaningless and pointless. Why should I make any more sacrifices when there is another, easier way?"

Young people, facing catastrophes their elders regard as nothing serious, may kill themselves over the breakup of a relationship, a disappointing grade, or a lost game. If old people, with all their wisdom and experience, think that life with pain, disappointment and frustration  is unacceptable, why shouldn't the young just end it now?

The Spirit of God moved Eleazar to accept a painful, tortured death rather than give scandal to young. Many centuries later, life is still painful. Suffering is universal. Suicide is not an option.