The Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph

Lectionary: 17

When the magi had departed, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream and said, "Rise, take the child and his mother, flee to Egypt, and stay there until I tell you.

Read today's gospel again and notice that the phrase,"the child and his mother" appears four times. They are, for Saints Matthew and Joseph and -- apparently -- God, inseparable. 

I have sometimes noticed that I thought I knew someone until I met his family. I worked, studied, prayed and played with my seminary classmates for many years but meeting their families was like a revelation. I have had a similar experience at the funerals of friars, when their families joined us in prayer. Suddenly, the lights went on! The mannerisms, expressions, and opinions of the friar's family explained much about the friar.

Joseph's relationship with Mary began with the troubling discovery that she was pregnant, followed by an angel's message,

Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary your wife into your home. For it is through the holy Spirit that this child has been conceived in her. She will bear a son and you are to name him Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.”

After that, Joseph's life was consecrated to "the child and his mother." That was his calling and the meaning of his life. His faith was fidelity to his duty to them; his devotion, their welfare; and his mission, their protection. "The child and his mother" were like a sacred icon Joseph carried from Bethlehem to Egypt to Israel to Nazareth in Galilee.

Saint Joseph was not challenged by today's existential questions, "Who am I and where do I belong?" The "just man" knew himself as a Jew in the tradition of Abraham, Moses, and David. The midnight angel clarified his relationship with "Mary, your wife." Their relationship was his calling.

Often, when I have met people safely outside the purview of identity politics, they have been introduced as "my daughter" or "my mother." The name of this particular person didn't seem important at the time. At the front door of the church or in the cafeteria line, the relationship satisfied my curiosity.

Their names could vary, depending on who wanted to know. The government knows one name; the family, another; a friend, a third. Names and nicknames are assigned by relationship, but the relationship tells me who they are.

Young people are often encouraged to ask, "Who am I?" but they are told, "You should do this outside of your relationships to family, friends, class, race, or career." "Who are you really?" as if that identity is floating in an ethereal, mystical world and should be discovered by alchemy. Perhaps you can find it with art! Try drawing, poetry, or music. If those things fail, try yoga, sex, or drugs.

Sanity is with the woman who tells me, "This is my granddaughter!" and the young woman who allows herself to be introduced with that sobriquet. If there is time and opportunity I will be glad to know her name.

We live in a complex world and most of us are known in many different settings, with different responsibilities, privileges, and expectations. Very often we must choose which relationships to honor and explore, and which to disown or shun. Society eagerly, carelessly assigns identities by race, politics, religion, education, wealth, and gender. Some identities are coveted and privileged; others, despised. Some are optional; others are forced upon us. Some, like white, black, gay, and straight mean different things to different folks, and have only a vague connection to our genetic structures.

Christians find our identity through Baptism. Espoused by the Lord, all our relationships begin with Christ. In that sacrament we hear the Angel's word, "Do not be afraid to take Mary into your home." She is the Church, our mother and first family.

On this Feast of the Holy Family we thank God for the identities, names, relationships, and places the Lord has assigned to us. We pray that we will be found worthy of these honors as the Holy Spirit guides us in this world.