Saturday of the Fifth Week of Easter

A selfie with today's prayer

Lectionary: 290

Jesus said to his disciples: “If the world hates you, realize that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, the world would love its own; but because you do not belong to the world, and I have chosen you out of the world, the world hates you.


Hate is a very strong word and people often prefer other words to describe their antipathy toward something or someone. Perhaps that's why the Gospel of John uses the word seventeen times! The Evangelist wanted to heighten the distinctions between Christians and everyone else. 
On this day, forty years ago, I took my last drink of alcohol. I can't say I hated the stuff but I'm sure it hated me and we had to part ways. We nod to one another nowadays, keeping a social distance. 
I was beginning a very lonely journey into self-discovery. Less than a year later my Dad would die and I would spend the next two years tumbling through inner space without a map, compass, or gyroscope. I was blessed with Franciscan superiors who took charge, guiding and directing me through helpful (and expensive) programs to recovery. I was given residential treatment, medications, electroconvulsive therapy (ECT), and counseling.  Like most sick people, I didn't readily volunteer to be sick with alcoholism or depression. They were embarrassing, painful, and hugely inconvenient. These illnesses set me apart from others. Even strangers wanted an explanation for why I was different. 
But that was precisely the point. My conforming to social pressure was killing me.
On May 16, 1980, I paid a pastoral visit to a very lovely couple of about my own age. We enjoyed an evening meal and afterward my hostess asked, "Would you like a glass of wine?" 
I knew I was in trouble with alcohol but here was a nice couple offering me another drink. What could I do? I put my left hand behind my back as if someone were twisting my arm and said, "Okay, okay!" 
She went to the cupboard and took out a single glass. She brought a bottle from the refrigerator and put it in front of me. 
They didn't drink! 
I was drinking alone!
Social pressure? It doesn't exist. It never did. 
Feeling like a fool I poured one last glass and put it away, forever. 

When Jesus speaks of hatred in today's gospel he is speaking of that process some call individuation. I have to realize I am not like others; I cannot and need not conform to their ways. My way is the Lord's. If I would be true to my Baptism I must obey the Lord and none other. 
During the course of these forty years I have met many people who were experiencing that call to freedom. Like me, they hated it. They hated their alcoholism, drug abuse, diabetes, cancer, depression, Addison's Disease, ALS, heart disease, COPD, and so forth. They don't like friendly doctors, nurses, counselors, mentors, and companions in support groups. They don't want to confess their relapses. But the diseases are relentless teachers; their mercy is just, and their justice is merciful. 
Eventually we must see the light, which does appear in the darkness of a long tunnel. God's way is neither fun nor exciting. In his mercy he saves us from such nonsense. God's way is true and good and beautiful; and we follow it in faith.