son of man, by a sudden blow i am taking away from you the delight of your eyes, but do not mourn or weep or shed any tears. groan in silence, make no lament for the dead, bind on your turban, put your sandals on your feet, do not cover your beard, and do not eat the customary bread. that evening my wife died, and the next morning i did as i had been commanded.
I am the oldest of ten children. I changed at least as many diapers as I ever wore; and I remember that babies cry a lot. They cry because they're wet, hungry, sleepy, lonely or bored. Sometimes they cried when I stuck them with a diaper pin. They use velcro today.
I came across a pop psychology theory some years ago that said, when the baby realizes his crying is only making matters worse, that his cries are going unanswered or the dangerous parent is getting more dangerous, he might decide to stop crying. That's not easily done but sometimes it's necessary.
You can do that by not breathing. Breathing is sucking in oxygen and oxygen makes things burn and emotions burn hot. So to stop feeling painful or dangerous emotion, stop breathing. To stop breathing, hold your diaphragm and stomach muscles tightly.In a hostile environment -- like a war zone or a violent family -- you have to stop breathing in order to survive. For a baby that becomes more than a momentary decision, it's a life-long attitude. Fifty years later they still cannot laugh or cry. They can only observe as people around them feel emotion.
When Ezekiel's wife died he did not grieve her death and his fellow exiles in Babylon wondered what he meant by his bizarre behavior. He was acting as if her death meant nothing to him. He explained to them, surely through clenched teeth and straitened breath, they had failed to grieve over the destruction of Jerusalem. The loss of their homeland seemed to mean nothing to them.
The practice of the spiritual life requires relearning how to breath. That includes laughing and crying, belly laughs and sobbing. It means learning how to grieve and how to be elated; how to feel sorrow and how to rejoice.
Evangelization and catechesis teach Christians how to be human and that often begins with learning to feel sorrow and joy. Jesus Christ died for our sins, we should feel intense grief as we ponder that mystery. We should be blind with tears, our hearts heavy with sadness. Jesus has been raised from the dead. That will surely make us laugh for sheer joy! Seeing Satan smashed like a filthy cockroach our stomach muscles respond with uncontrollable, quaking laughter. Doesn't the word Alleluia sound like laughter to you? Ha-Ha-Ha-Halleluia!
The fellow in today's gospel at least had the sense to go away sad. He had wanted to join Jesus' company but been turned away by his own clinging to his material possessions and comforts. Jesus shared his sadness, for he had hoped the boy would join him. He had no wealth or security to offer the boy except the riches of the spiritual life. He could not and would not give him the worthless things men consider worthwhile.
We know from the Acts of the Apostles that Jesus' disciples did learn the worth of the spiritual life. They abandoned all the comforts of home and family and set out on the road to announce the Good News to the world. You and I were also sent from Jerusalem to announce the good news. We may grieve for a while as we leave the old ways behind. There's no harm in that.
I grieved for all of three days when I quit drinking thirty years ago. I felt like I had lost a good friend in alcohol. But now I laugh about that, every time I wake up with a clean mouth and a clear conscience in the morning. Ha-Ha-Ha-Halleluia! The victory has been won; Jesus is Lord.
Breathing....living.....laughing......grieving.......knowing Jesus Christ......it's all good.
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