Wednesday of the Thirtieth Week in Ordinary Time

Lectionary: 481

The Spirit comes to the aid of our weakness;

for we do not know how to pray as we ought,

but the Spirit himself intercedes with inexpressible groanings.

And the one who searches hearts

knows what is the intention of the Spirit,

because he intercedes for the holy ones

according to God's will.

We recently heard Jesus's parable of two men praying in the temple, the publican and the pharisee. The latter prayed "to himself" and, leaving the temple, was not "justified." Despite the volume that might have echoed throughout the chamber, God could not hear the prayer of the Pharisee. He did not know how to pray as he ought; and the Spirit did not come to his aid.

Meanwhile, the publican, with inexpressible groanings, "beat his breast and prayed, ‘O God, be merciful to me a sinner." Jesus concludes the story, he "went home justified, but the other did not."

Would it be fair to ask of Jesus, "Which one felt like he'd been heard?"

The Pharisee, I suppose, must have felt good about his prayer. He had certainly touched all the bases of self-assurance. But the publican only groaned in silence. He could not hear the echo of his prayer, especially over the noise of the pharisee.

There is much to be said for confidence in prayer, and the feeling of a job well done. Each morning I read the Office of Readings, Morning Prayer, and Midday Prayer. I throw in some other prayers for good measure. Plus a little spiritual reading. Then I go to my office, boot up the VA computer and check on the status of my Catholic patients.

But I don't usually ask myself if I feel good about my prayer, nor do I wonder if I was heard by the Lord. I hope that I have kept faith by this regular observance; by maintaining this routine which some might call a rut.There are days when I feel more attentive to the prayers, but I don't suppose my alertness -- on a scale of one to ten -- equals their worth.

Rather, I take God at his Word and suppose, "the one who searches hearts knows what is the intention of the Spirit, because he intercedes for the holy ones according to God's will."

I don't pray each day because i want to. At least I don't suppose this was my idea, or that I am impelled by my own ambition. I hope that I pray in response to the Spirit which prodded me to get up at the alarm, take my breakfast, drive to the VA, and settle in the chapel. If I don't do so with the same energy as when, sixty years ago, Dad would wake me with, "You want to go fishing?" I am nonetheless where I should be when I should be.

I am quite sure that, without the Spirit which renders me willing, I would not get up early. That has never been my way. You remember the song, "Lazybones?" That's me.

But "we know that all things work for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose."