Tuesday of the Sixteenth Week in Ordinary Time

Lectionary: 396

Who is there like you, the God who removes guilt and pardons sin for the remnant of his inheritance; who does not persist in anger forever, but delights rather in clemency, and will again have compassion on us, treading underfoot our guilt? You will cast into the depths of the sea all our sins; You will show faithfulness to Jacob, and grace to Abraham, as you have sworn to our fathers from days of old.

I well remember my long-suffering spiritual director trying to persuade me that the Lord delights in clemency. Try as she would, I could not believe it. 

It made sense, of course. Why would a Creator-God create something he despises? Why would he sustain its existence? God's benevolence is as clear as the morning light, and as dependable. 

But something in me clung to fear and avoidance. Old habits and old attitudes, perhaps formed before I knew I had a choice in what attitude to assume and what habits to practice -- they persist. We cannot see anything but what they show us; we cannot believe anyone else's perception. 

She taught me about meditation. It's like washing a window. You take your prayer and you repeat it over and over and over. You focus your attention on each word of the prayer and whenever you notice you're not paying attention to that prayer and those words you refocus and begin again. 

After a while, you realize that getting frustrated doesn't help; scolding yourself is wasted energy; feeling disappointed by your lack of success is counterproductive. You're not looking for success; you're not trying to prove anything. You're just praying.

It's like wiping a window. You keep circling the pane and sweeping your cloth back and forth, paying attention only to the glass. Sometimes you may notice something outside, on the other side of the window, and your motions slow to a stop. You're distracted but you don't notice you're distracted. You might even get excited or upset about what you see through the window. 

And then you remember you're not here to watch something outside; you're cleaning a window. And you turn your attention to your chore once again. 

When you have finished either exercise -- meditation or wiping the window -- you see more clearly. Through the window of your mind you can see the intensity, purity, and generosity of God's mercy. You will look at a crucifix and wonder at the incomprehensible dimensions of God's love. "Who is there like you," you will say, "who removes guilt and pardons sin?" 

Indeed, while you were paying attention to that word of prayer, the Lord cast into the depths of the sea all your sins.