I am not speaking of all of you.
I know those whom I have chosen.
But so that the Scripture might be fulfilled,
The one who ate my food has raised his heel against me.
From now on I am telling you before it happens,
so that when it happens you may believe that I AM.
Christians who rely on the spectacle of Jesus's triumphant resurrection rather than on the Holy Spirit who guides, inspires, and chastens from within our hearts, are especially vulnerable to saboteurs of the faith. They have not yet moved their house from the sandy beach of emotion and opinion to the Rock above the treacherous surf. They believe because the Gospel feels good and affirms their righteousness, rather than because it convicts them of sin and God's endless mercy.
When life happens as it must, they become confused and distressed. They complain, "Life in the Lord wasn't supposed to be this way!" They suppose crucifixion ended with the death of Jesus, and his resurrection was nothing more than Good News for everyone.
Jesus knew those whom he had chosen. Many seem to belong to him but some will leave the supper early, before the debacle of the cross, and before they receive the Holy Spirit. Their soil is not so deep, nor are their hearts so cultivated, as to bear fruit forty, sixty, and a hundred fold.
One of the best sermons I've ever heard was given by a priest who felt he'd been betrayed by his bishop. When the prelate resolved the conflict in his large suburban parish by sending him to a distant, rural parish in the hinterlands of the diocese, the young pastor felt betrayed. He was sorely tempted to abandon the priesthood and the vows he'd made.
His anguish only gradually abated over several years as he consulted with a spiritual director and maintained the disciplines of prayer and sacraments. When he spoke to his fellow priests he could not laugh about the incident. He could not say his critics and the bishop were right and he was mistaken. That matter might never be resolved in his mind before the Judgement Day.
But he knew he must obey his bishop. The sacraments of Priesthood, Eucharist, and Reconciliation are too precious to be administered by a maverick who obeys only himself. If he had been betrayed in God's sight, he would not betray the Lord who died for him, or the Lord's faithful Church. He learned humility through what he suffered.
In the years since I heard that sermon, I've thought often about it. I have not suffered that kind of adventure, but I've had my own. And I am still here. In private consultation and public speaking I remind my fellow Christians of Judas the betrayer. His spirit still resides in the Church; it hangs around the altar; it attends every gathering. It is there in my cynicism, ignorance, and cowardice. It leaps forward when I feel sad, lonely, or disappointed, and is ready to discover evil. Anyone's but mine.
...I am telling you before it happens,
so that when it happens you may believe that I AM.
Nothing happens automatically in the human heart. It takes time; and usually, a long time. "When it happens" you will believe as you remember the Lord also knew sadness even unto death. You will find him when you take your grief, hurt, and anger to Gethsemane and wait with him as the hours pass. You will not be able to fall asleep like the disciples around you; the hurt will not permit rest or sleep. The indifference of others will also feel like betrayal until you realize they have to live their own lives and cannot live yours. You cannot share your abandonment with anyone, not even the Lord who grieves beside you.
You'll find your solace in the Spirit which resides unnoticed till now, in your heart. When that hour comes you will be ready to go with him to Easter.
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I love to write. This blog helps me to meditate on the Word of God, and I hope to make some contribution to our contemplations of God's Mighty Works.
Ordinarily, I write these reflections two or three weeks in advance of their publication. I do not intend to comment on current events.
I understand many people prefer gender-neutral references to "God." I don't disagree with them but find that language impersonal, unappealing and tasteless. When I refer to "God" I think of the One whom Jesus called "Abba" and "Father", and I would not attempt to improve on Jesus' language.
You're welcome to add a thought or raise a question.