Friday after Ash Wednesday

http://www.usccb.org/bible/readings/022412.cfm

Holly Berries

Lo, on your fast day you carry out your own pursuits,
and drive all your laborers.
Yes, your fast ends in quarreling and fighting,
striking with wicked claw.
Would that today you might fast
so as to make your voice heard on high!

On New Years Day, last year I decided that I wanted to be a thin old man. I've always admired those skinny old men who carry themselves tall and erect. I told one particular gentleman, "When I get big I want to be thin like you!" 

I was surprised when he told me he weighed a lot more at one time. Several years ago he decided he was tired of carrying around several extra bowling balls (16 lbs each) on his gut and started eating less. Wow! I had just supposed skinny old men were born that way.

I was born that  way. One fellow  told me in high school I looked like a kitchen match, skinny body with a big head. But somewhere along the way I put on a lot more weight. I became a very large man. 

So last year I quit eating sweets. No candy, cookies, cakes, ice cream, desserts, or sodas. 

I made a second, essential resolution: No self-pity! Who needs it! It only sabotages my good intentions. 

One time my mother came to the bottom of the stairs and yelled up at us, "Who's coughing?" "It's me, Momma, Kenny." "Well, stop it!" she said. "Yes, Ma'am." And I did. No pity from Momma, no pity for me.  

Briefly I watched the other friars dive into bowls of ice cream and various sumptuous delights and I was tempted. Not to eat but to feel sorry for myself. But I stifled that nonsense and silently gave them the privilege of their pleasure. 


Since then I've lost 26 pounds. The Internet says I am now within the healthy range for a man of my height, but still at the upper end of it. 


Well into the second year of my One-Day-At-A-Time resolution, I wonder how to spiritualize that good intention. 


One thing I notice about my hunger -- I get mean. I can understand people quarreling and fighting, striking with wicked claw. Hunger with resentment lends itself to that. 


It helps to remember a lot of people in the world -- a lot of children in this country! -- get up hungry, leave the table hungry and go to bed hungry. Hunger is no stranger to human beings. Jesus knew about it and he recommended it to his disciples: The days will come when the bridegroom is taken away from them,
and then they will fast."

Hunger is a good way to remember what we're all about as Christians. We should be hungry for righteousness and eager for the Bread of Angels. 

I've never known real hunger, although I grew up in relative poverty. We didn't have much in the way of earthly delights but as a family we enjoyed what we had. By spending frugally and pinching every penny till it squealed, my parents put sufficient food on the table for an ever growing pack of kids. We often had "seconds" of gravy on white bread. My hunger has only been mouth-hunger, not the real stomach hunger we see among the poor. 

Oddly, my siblings and I are taller than Generation Xers and the Millenials. We ate balanced meals without a lot of junk food. 

I want to consecrate my fasting now to the Glory of God who provides generously for all his children. I want to be fearless in the face of hunger. And if I am occasionally out of sorts, Dear Lord, help me keep it to myself! In Jesus' Name I pray.