Feast of Saint Matthias, Apostle

http://www.usccb.org/bible/readings/051412.cfm

"I have told you this so that my joy might be in you
and your joy might be complete.
This is my commandment: love one another as I love you.

The Church will remember for all time the sacrificial death of Jesus and the particular incident of Judas’ betrayal. We know the long-awaited hour had come; we understand Jesus had marched directly into the hostile city after months of deliberately arousing their hostility; we have heard his declaration:

... I lay down my life in order to take it up again.
No one takes it from me, but I lay it down on my own.
I have power to lay it down, and power to take it up again.

But, nonetheless, we remember that Judas set the drama in motion, and we remember Jesus’ terrible indictment:

“Woe to that man by whom the Son of Man is betrayed. It would be better for that man if he had never been born.” (Mark 14:21)

This hurt remains with us; we cannot forget it for it weighs heavily on our conscience and bears directly on our behavior.

Nevertheless, Jesus says, I have told you this so that my joy might be in you and your joy might be complete.Life goes on, and we cannot let this tragedy constrict our breathing forever. Our joy must be complete. After the disciples witnessed Jesus’ resurrection and ascension, as they awaited the promised Paraclete, they chose to replace Judas with another disciple. They could not allow their number to be incomplete. To receive the Holy Spirit there had to be twelve of them.

And so they prayed for God’s direction. After some discussion they decided the twelfth person should have been with Jesus since his earliest days in Galilee. He should have witnessed Jesus’ death and resurrection. Thus they winnowed the number down to two, Justus and Matthias. Then, still praying, they cast lots and the lot fell to Matthias. With that, Jesus’ disciples were ready for Pentecost, the coming of the Holy Spirit and their joy to be complete. 

I have rarely used so many buts, yets and neverthelesses in a reflection. They seem necessary when we approach the paradox of betrayal and salvation. How can so great a blessing emerge from so brutal a crime? Perhaps it can happen only in that way.

A moment passes by with every breath
And the future, channeled through this gap of now
Gives way to a backlog of opportunities
Lost, never reclaimed or rediscovered
Even as an infinity of futurities unimaginable
Eagerly pile up behind this narrow strait.

Dear Aging Heart, we have walked an older street
With anguished time forgot and labored breath
Navigating cycles of years with imagined
Pleasures that seemed so real then, but now
They reel like errant importunities.
Can memories unlimited discover

In rude stories unrued, undiscovered
Airs or gusts of goodness? The straight
Path on which I set out despite the portents
Was fair enough, I think; and yet I breathe
Worrisome belabored stories and I know
That no one – or few – can imagine

The troubles I have caused. But doesn’t Imagination
Work with Grace and Bliss to cover
The past in future glory? And the now
Has a mystic, magic madness that straightens
Twisted, tortured traumas until their breath
Comes easily and their importance

Resounds like blessed opportunities.
No one on this side of the grave imagines
The endless openings that curl and wreath
Even yet around each unrecovered
Moment of the past. An amazing now,
Bending under futures’ pressures straightens

And heals even that most regretted traitor’s
Kiss. It harrows hell and finds unfortunates
Who could not imagine or dream a knowing
Happiness. Their lives lost and unmanaged,
Unremembered shall be recovered
And they will rise up breathing.

                Fr. Ken Bartsch, OFM Conv