Wednesday of the Sixth Week of Easter

http://www.usccb.org/bible/readings/051612.cfm

I have much more to tell you, but you cannot bear it now.
But when he comes, the Spirit of truth,
he will guide you to all truth.

The English cardinal Blessed John Henry Newman (1801-1890) first suggested a historical view of the Church and postulated a “Development of doctrine." He saw how the Church struggled through the centuries to identify and define its beliefs, and that so-called heresies often facilitated the process. We understand the mysteries of Jesus and the Holy Trinity because we have addressed the Arianists, Nestorians, Pelagians, Manicheans and many other heresies. If we were occasionally not sure what we believed, we were sure that is not it. 

But I think Jesus, in the above passage from Saint John, was not speaking only of the development of doctrine. There are many truths we cannot bear. They must be shown to us over long periods of time; and only gradually do we absorb their full impact.

I am thinking of truths like baptism and marriage, solemn vows and priesthood. I am thinking of that astonished thought, “If I had known then what I know now…..” But I could not have borne it then.

When I formally requested permission to take Solemn Vows with the Franciscan Order in 1971, I supposed there would be some difficult trials on the road ahead, and I expressed my confidence that God would be with me. But I did not suppose I would be hospitalized three times for depression, spending six weeks, eight months and six months out of circulation. At the age of 22 I could not imagine such distress. At the age of 63 I wonder how I survived. It’s still overwhelming. But the Holy Spirit has been with me and has continued to guide me to all truth.

But my struggle is hardly unique. I hear many stories of far greater challenges and distress, courage and consolation. These are personal stories and collective stories representing married couples, families, churches and nationalities. I remember my African-American congregation in Jennings Louisiana who survived the trials of segregation and discrimination, even from their fellow Catholics; and knew they belonged in our Church. They knew God wanted them in the Church precisely because racism remained too near the vital centers of our people. Their very presence purged and purified the wound that is still healing. 

The Holy Spirit still has much to tell us when we are ready to bear it, and we pray that day comes soon. 

May 16: my 32^nd birthday of sobriety! Thank you Jesus!