Thursday of the Fourteenth Week in Ordinary Time

http://www.usccb.org/bible/readings/071212.cfm

As you enter a house, wish it peace.
If the house is worthy,
let your peace come upon it;
if not, let your peace return to you.

I suppose by now that codependence has settled deeply into our language. Most of us know persons who are codependent and, if we are honest, recognize the tendency within ourselves.

We like to be liked, we want to live peacefully with others. And yet there are these constant disturbances that come from others.  

We recognize the fallacy of such expressions as “He made me mad” and “I couldn’t help it” but we still say them. Because the human being is a social creature, we are codependent upon the people around us. When they’re unhappy, so are we. When they’re angry, agitated or restless, so are we.

In this teaching, Jesus coaches us in the ways of peace. As you enter a house, or a conversation, or a negotiation with someone let your peace embrace that person and those people. Let shalom settle like a numinous cloud upon the room and all its inhabitants.

But perhaps they are quarrelsome. Perhaps your good intentions encounter resentment, fear, envy, greed, hatred or any of a million other sinful tendencies. Then your peace will be tested and – more than likely – you’ll lose it. If you’re like me you’ll get caught up in the spirit of the conversation and feel the shame of failure.

In his classic Imitation of Christ, the monk Thomas á Kempis remarks that he has usually found discord and strife when he abandoned his cell.

Fortunately, Jesus’ teaching is not precisely about keeping your cool under trying circumstances; rather, it is about letting your peace return to you.

He teaches us to withdraw again to prayer – private, communal, or liturgical – and let his shalom reenter our hearts. It is a discipline that few of us master, but we can improve upon it day by day.

Sometimes we just have to re-center our consciousness and recollect our breath. Sometimes we recite a beloved prayer: the Lord’s Prayer, the Hail Mary, or the Jesus Prayer. Sometimes we count to ten. Or twenty or fifty.

When I was a child, even before I remember, my parents used to quarrel. Which married couples does not? Occasionally one would say to the other, in the middle of their quarrel, “Time out. Let’s say the Rosary!” Often – not always! – it helped. They could return to their conversation after the prayer and resolve their differences. Occasionally it took hours and days. But they loved one another and they loved their God and they persisted in prayer until peace returned to them. Because they allowed God’s peace to settle in them and resolve their differences, I am a priest today.