Friday of the Seventh Week of Easter

Lectionary: 301

Simon Peter answered him, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”

The Gospel of Saint John ends with an appendix about Saint Peter. It seems the disciples have lost their way. Together are seven disciples of Jesus, all the usual suspects: "Simon Peter, Thomas called Didymus, Nathanael from Cana in Galilee, Zebedee’s sons, and two others of his disciples." 

We're not told why they are together; it seems they have nothing better to do than go fishing. 

That was Peter's idea. "I am going fishing." he says. 

And they say, "We'll come with you."  

When the Lord appears on shore and directs their efforts, "the disciple whom Jesus loved" recognizes him. (Typically, he was hidden among the "two others of his disciples.") 

It is significant that the nominal head of the group doesn't instantly recognize the Lord. That duty fell to the one whom Jesus loved. He was the same who "saw and believed" when they found the empty tomb. 

Peter is not jealous of his headship. He readily hears and accepts another man's prophetic announcement; and then eagerly leads the party back to shore. It is often too much to expect of institutional leadership -- in church, government or business -- to know where we must go. Their duty is to listen to the Spirit from whichever direction the Voice calls, and make the critical decision to follow. God may speak to the Church through a child or an old person; from male or female; from members, friends or enemies. The sound may even drift up through the bureaucratic layers of the organization. Leadership listens with the whole Church, not for the whole Church. They carry the heavy burden of decision after discerning the Voice. 

As the story continues, Jesus leads Peter aside and asks the critical question, "Peter, do you love me?"

 “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”

Already, in his reply, we can hear Peter's anxiety. He is well aware of his failings. As Jesus repeats the question Peter is reduced to tears. The smell of the charcoal fire and the questioning evoke that dreadful night when Peter swore he had never even heard of Jesus and had no idea what they were talking about. 

I hope I am not the only one who often repeats these words of Saint Peter, "Lord, you know I love you!" 

LORD, you have probed me, you know me: you know when I sit and stand,you understand my thoughts from afar....

Probe me, God, know my heart; try me, know my thoughts. See if there is a wicked path in me; lead me along an ancient path.       (Psalm 139)

Knowing the Lord is knowing one's own sin. It is beautiful in a probing, poignant way. Before the Lord I cannot pretend to be someone else, or to have qualities I don't have. Assuming a position of leadership within the Church -- as priest, parent, catechist or whatever -- one can only say, "Here I am Lord, I come to do your will."