Feast of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph

Lectionary: 17

He went down with them and came to Nazareth, and was obedient to them; and his mother kept all these things in her heart. And Jesus advanced in wisdom and age and favor before God and man.


Social scientists, watching and studying our evolving culture, have much to say about the changing shape of the family. A few years ago, for instance, they observed that a young person can expect to be married three times in her life: once for romantic love, a second time for children, and a third time for companionship in later years. 
But that was before marriage was redefined as a semi-committed relationship between friends, regardless of their gender or sexual preference. The preferred word is partner for these childless, asexual contracts. 
We look in vain to the prevailing culture for an understanding of family. The same social scientists might point to the transient relationship of many non-human animals. Most mammals and other species do not mate for life. Most birds and bears mate with different partners every season. Humans who look for guidance to the animal kingdom can expect to have "multiple partners" during the span of one lifetime. Their descendants will be left with the enigma of describing their family tree. The old language of first or second cousin, once or twice removed will give way to a far more complex science as they search for family traits and genetic health issues. 

The Christian must turn for guidance not to the animal kingdom or prevailing cultural patterns but to our traditions, especially as they are grounded in the gospel. A Christian married couple must follow the pattern of Jesus and his Church. Saint Paul urged the married couples of his congregations in Corinth, Ephesus and Thessalonica to copy the divine patterns which were revealed first in the Old Testament -- the Lord and Jerusalem -- and secondly, of Jesus and his mystical body the Church. 

Their first command is fidelity. God cannot be unfaithful to his people; the Lord Jesus will never abandon his Church. Divorce is not an option. There may be hard discussions, loud conversations and much emotion, as the divine couple work out their difference; but they can no more leave one another than a man can separate his head from his body. 

Whatever is said about the relationship of God and his people, it is clearly not a friendship. This is more important, more enduring, more reliable than friendship. It's nice when a husband and wife regard one another as friends, even as "best friends," but that is not the essence of marriage. An individual may have many close friends, but none deserve the exclusive devotion of a spouse. That pattern is set in the scriptures when God is revealed as the husband of his people Israel. No other nation can claim a similar knowledge of God. 

A married couple, like their models God and his people, are eager and willing to receive the gift of children, should the Lord give them children. This too defines marriage with the Church as its model. The Church goes into the whole world to generate new children through Baptism. We evangelize but do not proselytize. That is, we wait upon the Holy Spirit to lead people to us through the free action of their own desires. No one can be manipulated, tricked or forced to accept salvation. 
Historically, some Christian churches have arbitrarily chosen to limit their membership to people of the same race, ethnicity or language. By so doing they lose their status as Christian. Likewise, two people who approach marriage with the specific intention of not having children or accepting only the right kind of child -- are not married. 
The social scientists who redefine marriage asexually, without fidelity or fertility, believe they have history on their side. They expect a continuing, evolutionary improvement of human society, and these new experiments in marriage are the vanguard of the future. Perhaps they suppose that sin can be bred out of the human stock. They have bought into an optimistic, deterministic view of human life which bears little resemblance to our Christian hope. 

People who disagree about religious teachings often conclude their expression with, "That's how I see it. You may see it differently." They intend to respect the integrity of other persons with their "God-given right" to differing opinions. 

But that nicety does not preclude the inevitability of consequences. Attitude, opinions and decisions do make a difference in the real world. A culture that defines marriage without the guidance of Christian tradition and scripture faces an unknown, unpredictable future. 
People who tolerate serial polygamy, abortion and gay marriage face the complete abandonment of everything associated with family. A nation of isolated, lonely, disconnected individuals may evolve. They will continually search for tribal membership and identity, but find none. Their ties to one another will be idealistic; that is, their friendships will conform to their ideas and a tenuous willingness to disagree. But they will lack the bonds of family, which must include even gay members. Without substantial relationships they will search for solace in substance abuse. Already we find enormous numbers of children are medicated to help them conform to the arbitrary standards of a child-abusing culture. Many people think their dogs are children. 

The Church today celebrates the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph. That trio includes you and me as they have graciously claimed us. Jesus is our Savior, Lord and Brother; Mary is our Mother; and Joseph, our patron saint. We are given to one another in love by the Father of Jesus, and we live by the prophetic traditions of our revealed religion.