Feast of Saint Mary Magdalene

 Lectionary: 603

On my bed at night I sought him
whom my heart loves–
I sought him but I did not find him.
I will rise then and go about the city; in the streets and crossings I will seek Him whom my heart loves. 
I sought him but I did not find him.

• "Who are you looking for?" Jesus asked the two disciples of the Baptist as they tailed him along the Jordan River. 
• Mary and Joseph "looked for him among their relatives and acquaintances, but not finding him, they returned to Jerusalem to look for him."
• The good shepherd "leaves the ninety-nine in the desert and goes after the lost one until he finds it.
• "...the man and his wife hid themselves from the LORD God among the trees of the garden. The LORD God then called to the man and asked him: Where are you?"
• She said to them, “They have taken my Lord, and I don’t know where they laid him.” 
• “Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you looking for?” 
• "Search the Scriptures!" 

If you think you will know the Lord without searching for him, you are sadly mistaken. If you think you have found the Lord and need no longer search for him, you're ignoring an imperative of the Old and New Testaments. 

I think our following of the Lord is like discovering that we have in our outstretched hands a beautiful crystal ball. Perhaps we were lost and bewildered; we went searching for guidance, mercy, and hope; and we found this astonishing reassurance in our hands. We had not climbed the highest mountain to find it, nor plunged to the depths of the sea. We had not traveled to faraway, exotic places. 

But right there, in our misery, we found peace of mind. "God is here!" We said, "I have found the Lord!" and we showed it to everyone.

We noticed there was a silver thread attached to the ball, a thread which extended to the heavens, and we knew that God owned the beautiful gift. When the ball moved we moved with it. It led us into green meadows, along sparkling brooks, and we followed willingly.

Then one day we looked up and said, "Ah! I see where this is going!" And we began to go that way. And we didn't notice the ball had floated elsewhere, for we had taken our eye off the ball. 

We were quite sure of ourselves. "I know the Lord!" we said. "He leadeth me!" we boasted. But we were not searching; we were so certain we'd been found. 

When the illusion collapsed and we realized we were lost and bewildered again, many of us turned back to the Lord, (though some didn't.) And we went in search again until the Beauty reappeared. 

Knowledge of the Lord is relationship with another person, and no one -- neither human nor angels -- can grasp a sure and certain knowledge of the Other. If the LORD knows me, he does not control me; he will never cancel my freedom for without freedom there is neither love nor a person to love. 

We're too familiar with tempestuous affairs in which lovers threaten to murder the beloved if they should flee. They are possessed by jealousy and have no love. They would own and control as if the other person is a tool or toy. 

When the Lord called Mary Magdalene and she clung to him for those several moments, they both knew they could not stay there forever. He had to return to the Father; she had to inform the disciples. Both had to resume the search. 

There is presence in absence; there is discovery in searching. In all humility, and with frequent confusion, we follow the Lord in a Cloud of Unknowing, confident that we are saved not by knowledge but by fidelity.