Thursday of the Thirteenth Week in Ordinary Time

http://www.usccb.org/bible/readings/070512.cfm

But that you may know that the Son of Man
has authority on earth to forgive sins?"
he then said to the paralytic,
"Rise, pick up your stretcher, and go home."
He rose and went home.
When the crowds saw this they were struck with awe
and glorified God who had given such authority to men.

The authority to forgive sins is something wonderful indeed. It should be no surprise that Jesus’ opponents are baffled first by his declaration and then by his demonstration.

Catholics readily accept God’s forgiveness when we come to the sacrament of penance. That is a marvelous demonstration of our faith in God, in his church, and in the sacrament.

But to fully appreciate it we should remember the human dimensions of forgiveness. The subject often comes up in our conversation:

• I can’t forgive myself;
• Forgive and forget;
• Forgive but don’t forget;
• Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
• I want to forgive but I cannot.

Each of those situations and sayings calls for a different response:

I want to forgive but I cannot – Some people in an abusive relationship who endure daily emotional, physical or sexual violence think they’re supposed to forgive their tormentors. I urge them to get out of harm’s way first. “Use your anger and resentment to get out of there! Then we’ll worry about forgiveness.” There is a time for everything and the time of forgiveness is not while you’re in danger. That may not come for years until after the violence has ceased and healing is well underway. 

Fool me once…. Yes, we should learn from our experience of others. Once I’ve taken the measure of a person I can decide what kind of forgiveness I may offer that person. If I suppose they are always untrustworthy because I have seen no indication of remorse, contrition or repentance, I may decide to draw wide boundaries and maintain high barriers between myself and them. Then grace will teach me to recognize our common human nature – there but for the grace of God go I – and I will ask God to help me forgive.

Forgive and forget, or forgive but don’t forget: I believe the latter. Deliberately trying to forget goes against our human nature. Everything that happens is historical. It really did happen and in one way or another it will always make a difference. However, if the relationship is truly healed and atonement has been accomplished, we might actually let something fade away into the past. Every human life is full of millions of incidents and the unimportant ones are forgotten. When that happens the sage decides not to bring it up again. 

I can’t forgive myself – Nor can I, but in the Sacrament of Penance I ask and allow God to forgive me; and eventually I get over it. I often tell older patients in the hospital, “The only reason we were ever young is to have something to regret when we get old.” 

In the end my wounds and sins are recorded with the story of my life. And that is a gospel. It is a story in which Jesus – not me – is protagonist and hero. As in every gospel, there is a crucifixion – a story of sin – but it always ends with a resurrection.  

Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly. G.K.Chesterton