Jesus went up the mountain and summoned those whom he wanted and they came to him.
He appointed Twelve, whom he also named Apostles, that they might be with him and he might send them forth to preach and to have authority to drive out demons...
As Saint Mark tells the story, there are two essential understandings about apostles. They are those "whom he wanted," and "they came to be with him."
Of the first statement, we might notice how Saul "took three thousand picked men from all Israel" to go with him in search of David. In both cases, the leader chooses his followers; they accept the calling but do not initiate it. Our standing among Jesus's disciples is not won, awarded, earned or merited; it is bestowed.
In both cases also, the followers go with the leader. They are never far from him spiritually although they might be sent on mission to a distant place. A faithful husband and wife are always conscious of their spouse's presence; they consult as often as possible about the decisions each one makes as they strive to become one in mind, heart, and body. My sisters and brothers have assured me that if they fail in that awareness they will be reminded!
Apostles accept the privilege with humility and gratitude. They know it's never about themselves. As we study the gospels we learn of the apostles' struggle with the Lord and among themselves as they came to terms with the gift. They quarreled as to which was the greater until the Lord caught them in the act and rebuked them for it.
Lacking training and the delicate sensitivity that comes with it, they did not realize their jockeying for position insulted his authority. They were trying to make decisions that only he should make. Nor could they realize their struggle might have the opposite effect. Rather than drawing him closer to themselves, it might remove them from him.
We are called to be with the Lord. That awareness, that presence to him, must be as real and near as breathing. If we don't think a whole lot about breathing we feel the lack of breath immediately. And we take immediate steps to repair the situation. We cannot live without breathing; we cannot live without the Lord.
In the VA I have often read the literature and attended the workshops about suicide prevention. Suicidology focuses on statistics (who kill themselves and why) and the circumstances of suicide (availability of means, critical states, depression, etc.) But, in my experience, they steer clear of the essential question. "Why should I not kill myself?"
As we accept the Lord's call to discipleship we come to know it as a call to life. Jesus is not simply the reason for the season, he is my reason for being who and what I am. If his invitation seemed like an option at the time -- a hobby or pastime or even a career -- it became as dear and more dear than life itself. Like the parents who cannot and would not imagine life without their children, I do not want a life without Jesus. Christians know why we would not kill ourselves and we know why no circumstance could force us to, or over, that edge.
He gave us a mission, "...to preach and to have authority to drive out demons...." As his presence and witnesses in our world today, we complete that mission.
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I love to write. This blog helps me to meditate on the Word of God, and I hope to make some contribution to our contemplations of God's Mighty Works.
Ordinarily, I write these reflections two or three weeks in advance of their publication. I do not intend to comment on current events.
I understand many people prefer gender-neutral references to "God." I don't disagree with them but find that language impersonal, unappealing and tasteless. When I refer to "God" I think of the One whom Jesus called "Abba" and "Father", and I would not attempt to improve on Jesus' language.
You're welcome to add a thought or raise a question.