Feast of Saint James, Apostle

 Lectionary: 605

We are afflicted in every way, but not constrained;
perplexed, but not driven to despair;
persecuted, but not abandoned;
struck down, but not destroyed;
always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus,
so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our body.
For we who live are constantly being given up to death
for the sake of Jesus,
so that the life of Jesus may be manifested in our mortal flesh.

If Saint Peter was spokesman of the apostles before the crucifixion, and leader afterwards, Saint Paul became the spokesman for the apostles as he wrote his letters to the several churches. In his writing we discover not only what he taught and how he felt about many issues, we also discover an intense intimacy which we share with every disciple as we know and love the Lord. 

That intimacy begins with the sacraments, especially Baptism and Eucharist. It is there also as we confess our sins, care for our sick, and experience both Holy Orders and Marriage. But we have the most personal experience of communion with the apostles, martyrs, and saints in our suffering -- and for that we can credit Saint Paul. He was never shy about his pain.  

Our encouraging intimacy comes especially with the astonishing discovery that we are not dismayed by inconvenience, grief, failure, weariness, illness, or pain. Despite these and many other miserable afflictions of body, mind, and soul, we're never alone in our pain so long as we turn to the Lord. Nothing happens to me that has not happened to a fellow Christian; and we soldier through it all with Saint Paul's indomitable, ever-ready spirit. As he says, "the life of Jesus is manifested in our bodies" when we're feeling the most wretched. 

But occasionally we're dismayed by disappointments, and complain, "I thought my faith was stronger." That apparent failure may come because we're not actually prepared for it. Anyone can declare they know the Lord but, if their practice of faith is spotty at best, that assurance will vanish in a heartbeat with disappointments. 

And the Lord will test us as he tested Saint Paul, and as the Psalmist says, 

You tested us, O God,

tried us as silver tried by fire.

You led us into a snare;

you bound us at the waist as captives.

You let captors set foot on our neck;

we went through fire and water;

then you led us out to freedom.... (Psalm 66:10-12)

These tests show us just how weak our faith really is. In those desolate moments we must make a very deliberate choice to turn to the Lord in prayer, even as we seek comfort and reassurance from fellow Christians. God uses these setbacks to strengthen our practice of faith, that we might be more ready for that Final Temptation at the hour of our death. 

The failure to turn to the Lord and the Church for comfort in desolation may be the final decision of our lives. Some people, suffering divorce, bankruptcy, or the loss of health, never return to the Church. Sometimes it's only a quarrel with the priest, a grudge which they repeatedly invoke year after year, whenever the subject of Church comes up. The consequences of that decision can be fatal as their children and grandchildren are not led to belief in God. 

Those who read Saint Paul's letters are not surprised by disappointments. They know that even the greatest of apostles suffered hardships of every sort. He was disappointed with his body, his friends, and himself. He was hugely disappointed that his beloved Jewish people did not flock into the Church, and some fought violently against it. 

But still he prayed, and still he carried his cross and soldiered on. With Paul as our guide, we too walk with the Lord, suffering our pain, and grateful for our Spirit.