Tuesday of the Third Week of Lent

With today’s fascinating story of the unforgiving servant, Jesus comments on his prayer; specifically the words, “forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.” This teaching is so important that, in Saint Matthew’s account, the Lord’s Prayer is immediately followed by Jesus’ warning:

If you forgive others their transgressions, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your transgressions.

His teachings on mercy also belong to this subject, since forgiveness is a form of mercy: Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.

I find much psychological depth in this story. What was the unforgiving steward feeling and thinking as he left his master’s presence? He had just been forgiven an enormous amount. He, his wife and children had been spared the horror of slavery. We can suppose he felt enormous relief and overwhelming joy but, as subsequent events will show, he felt no gratitude.

In fact he seems to believe, “I pulled it off! A stroke of genius! I went down on my knees and pled for mercy and the old fool forgave everything! Hah! Why didn’t I think of that sooner?”

He seems to think he never actually lost control; he does not remember the terror that buckled his knees, or his shameless begging for mercy. His eyes no longer smart with his tears; his nose has stopped running, his slobbering mouth is no longer blubbering vague, desperate promises.

Nor does he remember his utter helplessness in the face of an enormous debt. In fact he never acknowledged what everyone else saw clearly, that he was out of his depth. Clinging to his fantasies, he guaranteed his master, “Just give me time and I will pay you back in full.” This man would not know the truth if it bit him on the leg.

So when he meets another fellow who owes him the tiniest fraction of what he owed, and this fellow reenacts the same part he had just played – falling on his knees, begging for time, promising full payment – he resolves that he will not be the “fool” his master has been. Nor will be understand when he is turned over to the torturers.

What should be our response to the story? Lent. We should spend these weeks contemplating the mercy we have found in Jesus. We remember our sins and, more importantly, we remember the sacrifice of Jesus.

I’m reasonably sure that if God showed me all my sins in a single instant, I would be burned to a crisp. I don’t ask for that grace. But I do want to follow Jesus to Calvary and understand that he is dying because he lives in my world. I have made this world uncomfortable for many people on many occasions. I have contributed to its barbarity and violence. I have enjoyed many advantages at the expense of many people. I was born with a debt that I have never repaid, and cannot hope to repay. Reparations for the past million years should be made to the victims of war, slavery, rape and murder. The infrastructures that I take for granted are painted with blood and I cannot wash it off.

Silenced by that stunning realization, I turn to Jesus for mercy. If my mouth is not blubbering; my nose, running; nor my eyes, streaming with burning tears it’s not because I don’t realize the depths of my helplessness.