Saturday of the Third Week of Lent

Knarled

What can I do with you, Ephraim?

What can I do with you, Judah?
Your piety is like a morning cloud,
like the dew that early passes away.

Given both God’s continual assurance of his favor and his persistent challenges to our sense of entitlement, how do we ever know if our faith is genuine? Is my piety real, or is it “like a morning cloud, like the dew that early passes away?”

The short answer, “We don’t know.” The eyeball cannot see itself, though it does see a reflection in the mirror. I can neither see nor judge myself. I can never know if I am truly sincere; or if my repentance is real. When I did that good deed, were my intentions generous or self-serving? 

As Saint Paul said, "If I give my body to be burned and have not love, I am nothing!" 

Certainly, the Pharisee in today’s story would be astonished at the judgment of Jesus. He has no idea he is being so hypocritical. Rather, he is telling the truth as he sees it. Unfortunately he cannot see at all.

Part of his problem is his unwillingness to hear what others might say about him. He has his opinion of himself and it is set. Psychologists speak of strong and weak self-image. People with a strong self-image, whether it is positive or negative, do not readily hear what others say about them. Politicians should have a strong-positive self-image because they take unfair criticism from every quarter. On the other hand, a person with a weak self-image is liable to believe whatever anyone tells him about himself. A friend will encourage him; an enemy will destroy him. He vacillates continually.

It might seem that the problem is self-image. It really doesn't matter what you think of yourself, and there's no point in investing a lot of energy into one's self-image. The only judge of me is God. But everyone has a self-image; they come with our human nature. 

The deeper problem is that inability to notice or pay attention to others, with their sensibilities, opinions and convictions. The Pharisee in this story is so busy telling God what a wonderful person he is that he fails to notice God’s presence at all. For all he knows God may have left the building, or hung up the phone.

To get right with God I must have faith, and faith always lives in a cloud of unknowing. I do not know that God loves me; I believe it. I do not know if I have truly turned away from sin; I have only this "one day at a time" to choose not to return to my former sins. There are no guarantees in this world except the word of God, and my self-image is the least reliable indicator of God's opinion of me. As Saint Francis of Assisi said, "What a man is before God, that is what he is, and nothing more." 

If I am sincere in my prayers, God knows it. I don’t need to. All I need to know is how dependent I am on God’s mercy. It begins with acknowledging, “My piety is like a morning cloud, like the dew that early passes away. Have mercy on me, a sinner.”