Memorial of Saint Cornelius, pope and martyr, and Saint Cyprian, bishop and martyr

MSF picnic 2010

He said to her, "Your sins are forgiven."
The others at table said to themselves,
"Who is this who even forgives sins?

Despite our daily prayer declaring our readiness to “forgive those who trespass against us,” forgiveness never comes easily. In many cases it is almost unimaginable. Can we forgive the perpetrators of 9/11? If we were willing, what atonement might we demand, and of whom? Can we forgive the lesser offenses that happen daily in our families and work places?

“Who can forgive sins but God?” the Pharisees demanded. And they were right. Only God has the freedom to forgive sins, and only God can affect forgiveness. “For human beings it is impossible, but not for God.”

The best we can do is undergo a two step process: 1) become willing to allow grace to bring us to forgive, and 2) with the grace of God, forgive.

There are alternatives:

1. We can forget, burying the incident in the past and acting as if it never happened.
2. We can get over it, saying “That’s just the way life is.” or “That’s the way people act.”
3. We can chalk the disappointment up to a learning experience with the decision never to trust that person again. (First time, shame on you; second time, shame on me!)
4. Or we can seek revenge. (I don’t get mad; I get even.)

But these alternatives cannot give us the satisfaction of forgiveness. Forgiveness reopens our hearts and minds to life. Even if I decide that I can no longer trust this person as I did, I can still respect the person as one who is made in God’s image. Perhaps I realize my trust was premature and misdirected. I may have hoped this person was someone else, a projection of my own unresolved issues for love, attention or affection.

Forgiveness heals my ability to enjoy without the barriers and guarded boundaries that resentment needs. I can breathe freely in that person’s presence, confident that the wholeness I have found, which originates in God, will protect me.

The martyrs teach us this lesson. That’s why it's so necessary to study their  lives. Under the most terrible situations, in the face of hostility they demonstrate gentleness. For human beings it is impossible, but not for God. For God, all things are possible.