Tuesday of the Twenty-sixth Week in Ordinary Time

Cornerstone of MSF school building

Why is light given to the toilers,

and life to the bitter in spirit?

They wait for death and it comes not;
they search for it rather than for hidden treasures,
Rejoice in it exultingly,

and are glad when they reach the grave….                                                                    

Mysteriously and tragically, suicide has become an option for people today. Many, perhaps most, of us have considered it at some point in our lives. Most of us have known people who took their own lives. We read about it almost daily in the newspapers.

I heard recently that fifty thousand men and women were killed in Vietnam, but seventy thousand Vietnam veterans have killed themselves since then. The VA is profoundly aware of this crisis, and instructs everyone from administrators to nurses to housekeepers to ask the downhearted veteran, “Are you thinking of suicide?” We want to do everything we can to prevent the killing.

Many have made a bizarre ritual, almost a liturgy, of self-destruction. Where they used to write a note in the solitude of their last moments, now they kill others – spouses, children, parents, hostages – and themselves, moments before the media and law enforcement close in on them. Invariably the media report the details and then close the rite with a question, “Why did he do it? That remains unanswered.”

But there is nothing new about suicide. Dr. Kevorkian did not invent it. We might ask why it is so common now, but we should remember it has always been an option. If it is more common today, it exposes something rotten in the heart of our culture.  

With his curses upon the day of his birth, Job raises the question of suicide, which is the question about life: “Why am I here?”

As a hospital chaplain I sometimes ask the patient, “Why do you want to get well?” “Why do want to beat this cancer?” or “What do you want to do with the time you have left?”

Some of them are suffering as Job suffered, with little hope for relief. Many are in palliative care. They have an incurable, progressive illness that will certainly lead to their death.

Some want to see their children married with children. Some want to attend their grandchildren’s graduation. Some believe they must care for their ailing spouses. Some only want to go home to smoke and watch television. One fellow, who could take nourishment only through a tube in his abdomen, was determined to walk to the corner tavern one more time.

Our Christian faith gives us a reason not only to live but to live well, with discipline, focus and energy. As servants of the Lord who came to serve and not to be served, we take care of ourselves so that we can care for others. If we cannot quite explain the meaning of our existence we know that God has one for us. He is our joy and our delight, our privilege and our purpose. Even our suffering has meaning as we gaze upon the crucifix and share it with Him.